Sometimes I wonder why Crunchy does what he does. The little scamp’s broken out of containment more than once, after all. There’s an access control vestibule of course, so even if he gets through the door it won’t do him any good, but I can’t quite shake the feeling that he knows something I don’t. I should open it, but I can’t help but think that Crunchy might be faking it. He’s backed up against the door and is screaming to be let out. Out of all the D-class we have, some of them have got to have only one eye, and no one’s ever sent them to 173 for testing? And did we stop using the Eye Pods on this guy? Was that back when we stopped cross-testing everything just because we could? Man, those were the days. If Amy Ponding it doesn’t work, then what would happen if someone with one eye looked at Crunchy? We should test that. Of course, it could have nothing to do with quantum wave functions. If it is some sort of quantum wave function thing, then the Amy Pond thing should work. Why wouldn’t it work, after all? We don’t know, because we don’t know why Crunchy can only move when no one’s looking. I’ve been told that doesn’t work, but Crunchy isn’t moving. He’s Amy Ponding it, blinking one eye at a time. Two D-classes just had their necks snapped, and the third’s giving his all to the most important staring contest of his life. When it’s your job to understand something like this, how can you not try to get inside its head? I know I’m not supposed to anthropomorphize these things, but it’s hard. I think Crunchy captures his essence much more effectively. I never really cared for the nickname ‘The Sculpture’. So, the D-classes messed up Crunchy’s bi-weekly cleaning, again.